Comic 29 - Page7

Posted on 28th Apr 2012, 6:52 PM in Chapter Two
Page7
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Average Rating: 5 (3 votes) / Rate this comic

Author Notes:

MassDet 28th Apr 2012, 6:52 PM edit delete
MassDet
I do believe this page is a personal record for how much text I squeezed into one page. Hopefully it makes sense. I realized not too long ago just how long it took to reveal Syn’s name. That’s probably some terrible writing, but hopefully I get better. Thanks for all the comments I have been getting, it’s great to know people are reading and enjoying Rogue Programming.

Like always please leave me a comment and let me know what you think, and if you have a moment please vote for Rogue Programming.

Thanks,
Justin


Comments:

Kermit 29th Apr 2012, 9:04 PM edit delete reply
I like where this is going -- good characterization and an interesting plot. (I was sort of expecting Syn to try testing the cognitive bandwidth of the new species she's encountering by speaking a dozen sentences simultaneously using different frequencies at high speed, and steadily ease back until she's using one voice at a normal speed and pitch, but this works too.) Any chance of more frequent updates in the future? I read about 350 webcomics, but Rogue Programming is on my short list of about 20 with the best concepts.
MassDet 1st May 2012, 11:33 AM edit delete reply
MassDet
Wow that' a pretty awesome complement, thanks kermit. I do fully intent to go up to weekly updates. Real life has been very busy lately and its kept me from really being able to get far enough ahead to be comfortable. But right now all I can say is hopefully soon.
MuggleMike 30th Apr 2012, 3:29 PM edit delete reply
MuggleMike
As I said in my last comment, I really like this comic. But for this page, the dialogue was a bit hard to follow. For the first panel, you have a bubble from panel three that is almost completely in it. It's close to the last bubble in panel 1 so I read that right after the dialogue in panel 1, assuming it was part of it. I think it would work better if it was moved below her chin in panel 3. You have that open space there on the bottom right side that isn't filled with much art. (also, that bubble covers up her middrift in panel 1, which I'm assuming your readers would like to see rather than part of her hair and neck in panel 3.)

The second panel bubble is great because it dips its toes in panel 1 and leads you into panel 2. That technique it what makes the panel 3 bubble confusing.

The last panel is also a bit confusing just because the back-and-forth dialogue is position so close together. I ended up reading "I understood..." -> "Hello!!" -> "I am capable" -> "I think" -> "Oh yeah" -> "That would be." After that, I realized I should have read the last two bits of dialogue the other way around. It's just the way that "Oh yeah" is above "That would be". Again, there is a bunch of empty space to the right where most of the bubbles could be instead of covering the characters. The shopkeeper is nearly completely covered in them.

I hope you aren't offended by these criticisms. I do really like this comic. The only reason I'm offering my constructive criticism is because I like it so much. I'm trying to get better at lettering my own comic, and so now I'm hyper-aware of stuff like that.
Gillsing 1st May 2012, 9:15 PM edit delete reply
I agree with the points you make, and I also spotted a few typos:

Panel 2: how -> who (the hells)
Panel 3: costume -> custom (designed)
Panel 4: that that -> so that (I can acquire)
MassDet 2nd May 2012, 5:56 AM edit delete reply
MassDet
Thank you Gillsing and MuggleMike for the detailed crits. No the crits did not offend at all, I am striving for Rogue Programming to be the best it can be. With that being said I reworked the dialoged on this page using the crits you guys gave in hopes that it makes the page make more sense and look better.
MassDet 2nd May 2012, 5:57 AM edit delete reply
MassDet
Also thanks so much for stopping by guys, I am beginning to realize I have some of the best fans.
MuggleMike 2nd May 2012, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
MuggleMike
Wow! It reads 100x better now. I especially like the different shading for the shopkeeper's bubble, as if he's in a totally different conversation (which he is). Nice touch. I like the first panel more than I thought I would too, now that you can see her full body.

Great job! I'm looking forward to the next page :)
zenla 2nd May 2012, 2:59 PM edit delete reply
My conscience has been bitting me in the ass for the last few days. So I have been trying to figure out why let see.
Not kicking cat- check( I have allergy)
Not killing and raping- check
Not being too lazy- check
Posting comment for this webcomic.... DAMMIT! It struck me today and as you see now I am free again like a bird. I have dialogues strange too. But then I thought I am not native english speaker so I could be wrong. Ok enough of trying to be funny.................. ah screw that awesome page. Awesome enough to be awesome. Good thinking with colors. They got a bit chaotic in last panel. Wait was there bodyguard before on saturday...... ah whatever it is not conspiracy to take over the world so I will it slide this time. I hope you will let me write something again soon.
For example my theory why islam needs jihad
MassDet 3rd May 2012, 9:08 PM edit delete reply
MassDet
Well thanks for the comments guys. I agree that the page is much more readable now, so I am glad to make the suggested changes. Anything I can do to make the comic better. Feel free to leave advice or suggestions whenever they are needed. I do listen and try to use them where I can.
Grey Garou 5th May 2012, 10:28 PM edit delete reply
Grey Garou
My personal philosophy with sequential art regarding flow of dialouge or art is that if one needs extra help to distinguish sequence or identity, then the art or dialouge (or both) may need some retooling. I used to use lots of arrows to show the sequence of panels, then I got some advice along the philosophy I mentioned. Perhaps having that many characters in silhouettes with so much dialouge may not be the best idea. It might be easier to break up that last panel into two to make the dialouge easier to comprehend and track, or drawing the complete character. Again, I but state my opinion here, nothing more.
MassDet 7th May 2012, 8:42 PM edit delete reply
MassDet
I do think you are right Grey as far as there being so much going on in this page in terms of dialogue. I blame two things, the first is that the second half of this issue is much more action packed and I want to hurry the hell up and get there. The second reason is that Syn is trying to casually define and describe her very existence to people who have no frame of reference for what she is.

Your right though, it would have been just as easy to break it down into a few more frames with an added page in there. As always Ill reserve the right to go back and make changes as time permits.

By the way thanks for stopping by again Grey. Its great when I have repeat customers, and even better when they take the time to really let me know what they think.
cattservant 27th May 2012, 5:54 PM edit delete reply
cattservant
There is only one of her, so her name didn't matter until now. Also,if her former master picked out her name, it's no wonder she abandoned ship!